Creating Steady Ground
Some Post-Election Thoughts & Resources
I know many of us are on an emotional roller coaster this week. On Wednesday, after the election results were clear, I felt mournful and too exhausted to do much, other than check in on friends and doomscroll. By Thursday, I felt so much rage that it was hard to sit still.
So that night, I rage baked a pie while in beautiful community with my Harbor church friends. Rage baking1 felt so therapeutic and good: creating the pie — peeling the apples, coring, chopping, mixing, crumbling the topping — all while spending time with friends lamenting, listening, and laughing.
Forming the letters for the scream felt so silly and fun. And the resulting echo of the scream was a fun surprise piece of “ahhhrt”. (Puns help me cope too. Sorry, not sorry.)
Friday night, I shared my “Ahhhpple” Crumble Pie2 with a few local Queer friends as we gathered to vent, laugh, and cuddle my corgis and cats. Any creative outlet helps release hard feelings, but there is something extra satisfying about being able to eat your creation at a table with dear friends.
If you don’t understand why I feel so emotional over another Trump presidency, then you haven’t been paying attention to Trump’s actions and plans. I care deeply about LGBTQ+ rights, anti-racism, women’s rights, refugees and immigrants, and the environment. I am terrified for all the ways the Trump administration will continue to bring harm to people I personally know, and to the whole country and world.3
If you are overwhelmed and terrified too, you are not alone. It’s important to take time to process, grieve, rage, and rest, but it’s also essential that we do not give into a sense of chaos or urgent over-responsibility that can lead to isolation, passivity, or burn out. It’s essential that we don’t lose hope. I love this quote that is circulating:
Yesterday, I stumbled upon FindingSteadyGround.com and its fantastic list of 7 ways we can strengthen ourselves now for the long road ahead. Below are my thoughts about some quotes from the list, but be sure to visit the website to read all of their suggestions.
Every Day Actions
1. I will make a conscious decision about when and where I’ll get news — and what I’ll do afterwards.
“What you choose to pay attention to during the day has an impact on you. Which news sources help you understand the world more fully, and which ones only leave you fearful and despairing? After getting your news, what works for you: moving your body, talking with friends, hopping onto social media? Make it conscious — and if it doesn’t work, don’t keep doing it.”
A few years ago, I decided to limit my news intake to a daily NPR newsletter that goes right to my email. The newsletter helps me stay informed, but in a limited space, so I don’t fall down a rabbit hole of researching, reading comments, etc. On Wednesday, the news was too all-consuming in my brain and I know I jumped into Google searching and social media far too much to keep up with news too. I felt the painful impact of all that over-consumption for days. I know moments when I took time for self care (walking in nature with my dogs, talking to friends and family, and making time for creative play) made me feel much better. I will be more intentional about pairing those self care actions immediately after reading the news now.
2. I will make human-to-human connection with another person and make sure we stay in motion.
“The goal is accountability, so that we don’t freeze up in the face of overload or despair. Check in to share and reflect on how you are staying in motion (like writing letters, volunteering, creating resistance art, working on virtual campaigns). Recognizing when you are frozen is important because the longer you stay stuck the harder it is to move, take care of yourself, and be an agent of change.”
I did feel frozen on Wednesday and I needed that day to process. I have the impulse to then swing too hard into a frenzied state of needing to learn and do everything. I am grateful for therapy this week and also for finding this quote to help me stay in motion at a healthier pace:
“Under a Trump presidency, there are going to be so many issues that it will be hard to accept that we cannot do it all. I’m reminded of a colleague in Turkey who told me, ‘There’s always something bad happening every day. If we had to react to every bad thing, we’d never have time to eat.’
An elder once saw me trying to do everything and pulled me aside. ‘That’s not a healthy lifelong strategy,’ she said. She’d been raised in Germany by the generation of Holocaust survivors who told her, ‘Never again.’ She took it personally, as if she had to stop every wrong. It wracked her and contributed to several serious ongoing medical conditions. We can accept our humanity or suffer that lack of acceptance.
Chaos is a friend of the autocrat. One way we can unwittingly assist is by joining in the story that we have to do it all.“
– Daniel Hunter of Waging Nonviolence
Weekly Actions
3. I will pray, meditate, or reflect on those I know who are being impacted by oppressive policies, and extend that love to all who may be suffering.
“Learn to cultivate love. One starting point may be holding compassionate space for your own pain or the pain of those close to you who are being impacted by the policies and politics of the time. Then hold your love and extend it beyond, to others you may not know who are also suffering. And lastly, take time to notice that this is not all of your reality: you also may have joys with your folk around you, be surrounded by beautiful music or nature, and take delight in creation. Joy in the face of hard times is not a luxury, it is a necessity. We have to learn to hold the emotions of these times, and continually grow our hearts to be in touch with the suffering of others, both within and beyond our own circle. Without extending our love to others, we are in no spiritual position to defend and struggle with them.”
Laughing and finding joy can feel so strange, sometimes even wrong, in difficult times. I love this perspective that joy is a necessity. I want to hand-letter and illustrate this quote soon to display in my home as a constant reminder. This week, I did manage to find joy along with the hard feelings, like moments of connection, walks in nature, my dogs’ smiles, making a silly pie, and escaping into a good book. Even simple joys help ground and steady us.
4. I will read, listen to, or share a story about how others have resisted injustice.
“Millions have faced repression and injustices and we all can learn from them. Stories may be from ancestors, contemporaries in this country, or lessons from those around the globe who have faced more severe and repressive governments. The goal is to become a student of history so that you can take inspiration and deepen your understanding of how to struggle and thrive.”
My pick from the website’s suggestions this week is Episode 1 of A Force More Powerful, a docuseries on YouTube about how 6 different cases of nonviolent movements around the world overcame oppression and authoritarian rule.
5. I will be aware of myself as one who creates.
“The goal of injustice is to breed passivity — to make us believe that things happen to us, events happen to us, policies happen to us. To counteract this, we need to stay in touch with our sense of personal power. One goal is to see ourselves as people who create, whether it’s cooking a meal, organizing a dazzling dramatic action, knitting a hat, making a sign, or playing the piano. We are more than consumers, and our humanity must be affirmed.”
I am so grateful for this reminder that our creativity is powerful. I struggle with consuming too much information and then not having the time or energy to create. A few weeks ago, I bought this “Spark Creativity” set at an indie bookstore, but I hadn’t made time to try it out yet. So, today I pulled out a stick that says “Take a break from a project; it may help you gain perspective.” I had to smile at how fitting that feels. I have already been practicing that more intentionally. Yesterday, I took a break from working on this newsletter for a bookstore and movie date with Mike. (We saw The Wild Robot and it was so beautiful!) Today, I took breaks to make waffles, watch an online church service, and spend time caring for my home. I do think this newsletter is better from this practice in slowing down. Most importantly, I know my health is better from it too.
6. I will take a conscious break from social media.
“Instead, fill the time with intentional and direct human interaction. You could take a full day a week away from social media as a healthy minimum, but you decide what is right for you. The research is clear: staying on social media leads to more anxiety, more disconnection, and more mental distress. The exposure to graphic images and reactionary language too often keeps us in our reptilian (fight or flight) brain. That’s not to deny the power of social media, but for our own well-being, we must find healthy boundaries.”
I did start a new weekday boundary with myself on Friday, after recognizing that I had been checking social media excessively the first half of the week. I could feel its draining and distracting effect on me. I deleted social media off of my phone again and told myself I could not check my accounts on my laptop until 5 PM, and then only for 20 mins. Every time I thought about checking outside of that time frame, or I found I was reaching for my phone, I wrote it down, along with why and what I thought I was really seeking (connection, information, FOMO, an outlet for restless energy, ADHD need for easy dopamine, etc). I also kept track of the activities I chose to do instead and it did feel energizing to see that list by the end of the day. This week, I will try that boundary for every weekday.
7. I will commit to sharing with others what’s helping me.
“This is not meant to be a complete list, but rather a baseline for maintaining emotional well-being in hard times. These are keystone behaviors that can help generate new patterns and consciousness. Share this list with others and add your own to it, creating a commitment to health and building accountability as we strive for a better world.”
A simplified version of the Finding Steady Ground list is available to download & print (PDF or Word), so we can post it in our homes for daily reference. I also plan to print out some soon to leave around my city to hopefully inspire others.
Today, I still feel sorrow and rage but also so grateful. For my friends and family. For nature that helps ground us. For creative play that helps release hard feelings. For the over 70 million people who voted against Trump. For the wisdom of others. For the countless people who will keep fighting the next 4 years and beyond. For safe spaces and community. For creativity.
And for leftover pie.
Question for your Inner Artist
• How does seeing myself as “someone who creates” help me tap into my personal power? What can I do this week to cultivate that sense more?
Hugs and hope to you all.
Rage Baking is a concept started by Tangerine Jones, a Black home baker in Brooklyn. Read her thoughts around it here. Please do not support the cookbook that came out that does not credit her at all as the originator.
I used my favorite apple crisp pie recipe. Why choose between apple pie and apple crisp when you can have both?
This is not a place for debate. I will delete and block any disrespectful comments.
Thank you for this post. For sharing about rage baking, enjoying puns & share the 7 steps. I'll be sharing this because it is exactly what we need right now.
Wise words in these troubled time, Kim.
Thank you for sharing them.