Living in the "Grace" Space
For Both Taking Action AND Finding Joy
Hi friends,
It took me a lot of jumbled journaling and overthinking to decide what I wanted to say here. Then I remembered my newsletter from last November, when I shared the 7 steps to stay steady in hard times from a free resource, FindingSteadyGround.com. As a refresher, I made this free worksheet1 inspired by that resource. I’m finding it helpful and I hope you do too.
In the Grace Space
I think, at least for me, that there is an extra step in maintaining steady ground: Living in the Gray. Our brains love black-and-white dualistic thinking which views the world as “either this or that”, wanting to neatly contrast and categorize. But so much of life is non-dual, in the gray. Both/and.
I said on a Harbor community online call recently that I have finally been getting more comfortable in the “gray space” and someone thought I had said “grace space”. We agreed that’s a good name for it. I have more grace for myself and others when I stay in the gray.
When I feel overwhelmed and scared, my brain wants to fall back into black-and-white, perfectionistic thinking. That does not keep me on steady ground. It blocks my creativity and traps me in a frozen state. I am practicing being aware, so I can pause and reframe my thinking. There have still been hard days, of course, but overall, I have been feeling much healthier and balanced. Steady-ish.
From Psychology Today: “If you’ve consistently employed either/or thinking, both/and will require time and intentionality to adopt. It will require a conscious moment of asking yourself things like:
Can both of these be true?
Can I feel multiple things at once?
Can I just notice what I’m experiencing without judgment?”
For me recently, finding the grace space looks like this:
I can be both worried about current events and happy in my home life.
I can feel both serious about issues and playful and delighted about my hobbies.
I can want to share both some ways to take action and my silly creations.
I can both take action and take time for myself to rest and play.
Space to Breathe
“It is about being effective for the next steps for the world. But it is also because we have a birthright to joy, to calm, to peace, to creative lives, where we are waking up and figuring out what do we want to do with our time, energy, money, day, love, that we are not constantly in reaction, that we have agency and access to the lives that we want.”
- Calm News with Jessica Yellin: Stay Sane AND Informed, We Can Do Hard Things podcast, Feb. 12th, 2025
Last month, I finally deleted my Facebook and deactivated my Instagram. It’s something I had wanted to try for years, but I felt so much fear and worry to miss out. I’ve had enough of doomscrolling and feeling like I can never “catch up” on the bottomless well of information. I needed to press pause and I have enjoyed that extra space to breathe. While writing this though, I have decided to try Instagram again to see how it feels if I use it very differently than I did before. I just reactivated my account, made it private, and will only allow followers that I know in real life. I will only be following friends or local places. I will still not have it on my phone, only desktop, so there is still some needed distance for my easily-distracted brain. If that ends up not feeling good for me, then I can always deactivate it again.
To stay informed about current events and ways to take action, I set up a helpful flow of information to my email: daily newsletters from NPR, good news sites, my library, LGBTQ+ center, and other nonprofits. I did need to unsubscribe from some news-focused Substacks and podcasts when I noticed I was starting to fall into information-overload again. Progress isn’t linear, oof.
I want to continue to simplify my life this year. Less scrolling and overwhelm. More community connection and local action. Less guilt for taking time for myself. More slowing down and enjoying this one precious life I have.
Creative Play
My monthly Bingo Goals Card I started in January has been SO fun and helpful for reminding me what I want to focus on each month outside of politics: a mix of creative activities, connecting with others, and home projects. It really is the life hack I have been needing. Here’s a blank template if you want to make your own. I make mine in Procreate with images I find, but you could print it out blank and draw or write in your goals too.
To make it even more fun for myself for February, I spent a Saturday crafting a reward wheel out of cardboard and paper, using this YouTube video as reference. I glued a plastic sheet on top, so I can use a dry erase marker to write different rewards each month. The wheel is so satisfying to spin (even if it makes my dogs bark)!
Recent Inner Artist Food
• Books: The Spellshop by Sarah Beth Durst
• Shows: I am loving Clean Slate on Prime! Such a sweet story and cast of characters.
• Music: I saw Molly Grace in concert last night! She’s an up-and-coming queer artist blending pop, funk, and a dash of disco sounds. So much fun!
• Art: enjoyed working through Carolyn Yoo’s Creative Resilience 31 day challenge in January | now I am feeling very inspired and excited to join The 100 Day Project that starts tomorrow (or whenever you want)
• Social Action: Leaving voicemails for my state reps through the 5calls app | donating to Public Citizen to help protect our democracy & to my local trans nonprofit, the Eastern PA Trans Equity Project | joining my local Indivisible group
Pet Pics of the Month
I have been slacking in my responsibility to share the cuteness of my 4 furbabies more with the world. Here are my recent favorites.
Questions For Your Inner Artist
• How can I find steadier ground during difficult times?
• What is bringing me joy this week?
Unaffiliated with the creators of FindingSteadyGround. I just made this for my own use and am sharing for anyone who finds it helpful too.
I love everything about this! Especially the gray/grace misunderstanding that actually says so much.
Thank you for these fun ideas for making intentions more fun. I'm going to give it a try. I've been in a funk this few weeks and am ready to get back to noticing the shimmer and finishing the joy. We need to meet in person so I can be one of your Instagram friends. I completely understand. I got off Facebook and am just on Instagram. My problem wasn't doom scrolling, but just wasting time scrolling mindlessly. Have you listened to the WCDHT podcast on The Science of Healing Heartbreak? This also helped me want to do more than just existing.